


What Comes After

by SilverPurity



Series: Ferdibert Family Fluff [6]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Baby Aria, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ferdinand is just the best husband, Forehead Kisses, Hubert's not good with emotions and feelings, Hugs, Hurt Hubert, I lied this isn't really fluff but I had nowhere else to put it, I'm a glutton for angst, M/M, New Family, Self-Doubt, So spoilers kinda maybe???, Soft Ferdinand, Soft Hubert, That's why Ferdie's there to help him, This would take place during or after Aria's "nonexistent" origin story, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 15:02:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21358165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverPurity/pseuds/SilverPurity
Summary: Hubert isn’t sure how to process his feelings towards his newborn daughter.
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Series: Ferdibert Family Fluff [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1518884
Comments: 6
Kudos: 134





	What Comes After

They had named her Aria.

Hubert found himself staring at her most of the time. In truth, that was all he allowed himself to do. He hadn't held her since the day they named her. Ferdinand told him he was just trying to find excuses to stay away from her. Perhaps he was. Every time he was faced with the reality of the situation, he was torn in two. He wanted to embrace her, to welcome her into his life with all the unreserved love a new parent could give to their newborn; so much so that it physically hurt. But he simply couldn't afford to. That wasn't how Hubert von Vestra was supposed to feel.

He watched as her small chest rose and fell with each breath, sucking on her wrist even in her sleep. Her head was coated in a light patch of black fuzz, complimenting her rosy cheeks. Eyelids fluttered from dreams Hubert would never know about, hiding the bright irises she had inherited from Ferdinand. Overall, she was just a normal, pudgy, drooling baby. A child he normally wouldn’t have glanced at. A life he would have willingly taken in the name of his Emperor if she so much as gave the word, regardless of the fact that she was of his flesh and blood. A life he originally never wanted to bring into this cruel, disgusting world.

The moment that thought crossed his mind, the dull ache in his stomach twisted so painfully that he let out a gasp. He grasped at where the pain blossomed from, hunching over the crib he had been peering into and leaning on it for support. When he finally allowed his clenched eyes to open, he saw curious ember-orange orbs looking back at him. He froze, unsure of what to do as the baby’s eyes bore into him. They stayed that way for several minutes before Hubert finally broke the silence.

“Sorry,” was the pathetic word that came out of his mouth.

Recognition dawned on her upon hearing his voice. A smile spread across her face, a delighted squeal ringing in his ears as she began to kick her tiny feet around. Hubert watched as she continued to dig her feet into the small mattress of the crib, as if she were waiting for him to do something. A strange sensation settled into the pit of his gut, the feeling comparable to that of eating a piece of poisoned food. He felt sick and wanted nothing more than to leave, yet the need to stay by her ate away at him. It corroded the last vestiges of his self-control, destroying his original intention for a brief visit. Hesitantly, he removed his gloves and placed them in his jacket pockets. Reaching into the crib, he stuck out one finger and let it hover right above Aria’s hand. She latched onto it, scarred and pale as it was, and brought it to her mouth to suck on it. She was completely unaware of the fact that this same hand had ended countless lives and could potentially end her own one day if she grew up to be an enemy of the Empire. They were tainted black from magic, coated in the blood of his victims that had since been washed away..

Purity willingly indulging in darkness.

Despite his apprehension, his body acted on its own volition and reached into the crib. He lifted the newborn into his arms, holding her close to his chest. Strangely, it felt like a lost piece of himself slid back into place when she was in his arms. Aria seemed pleased because she settled into her new position without complaint, which was odd considering that she hardly ever let anyone other than Ferdinand hold her.

Hubert shook his head. “What am I doing?”

Aria laid her head on his chest, soon dozing off into another peaceful slumber. Hubert stood motionless, left in charge of that little life once again. She was so light—underweight, he reminded himself—that he feared she would shatter if he held her too tightly. But if he didn’t keep a solid grip on her, she could fall and meet her death on a cold, unforgiving floor. He could end this baby’s life at any moment if he wanted to. Perhaps it would have been better to let her die instead of choosing to let her live.

Once again, he felt that awful, nauseating feeling bubble up from the bottom of his stomach, clashing with his logical thoughts once again. He could feel the strength in his legs seep away, his heart pounding so fiercely that he could hear the thrum in his ears. He sunk to the floor, still keeping his hold on to the child.

His child.

The child that was half of Ferdinand and half of Hubert.

He was a murderer—the blood-stained, heartless pawn of the Emperor. He tortured and ended lives. He did not help create them. He wasn’t supposed to. He did not deserve to hold, much less look at this innocent creature.

“Hubert?”

He stiffened at the sound of his husband’s voice. Hubert dared not speak. He knew his body would betray his mental pleas again if he so much as uttered a sound. He felt gloved hands rest on his shoulders—when had they started shaking so violently?—before Ferdinand kneeled beside him. He kept Hubert steady, waiting patiently for his trembling to die down. The cavalier brought Hubert closer, letting the mage rest his head upon his shoulder.

“You should be resting,” Ferdinand stated.

“I know,” Hubert replied with a sigh.

“You’re holding her now.”

“Take her. I can’t handle it.”

Ferdinand shook his head. “You need to do this. And she needs you.”

“She needs a parent. Not a monster.”

“You're not a monster. She doesn’t think so either."

“She cannot distinguish good from evil nor understand the desires of others, only her own. Oblivious to all things in the world, just like you still are at times.”

“Maybe so. She is still a newborn. But...did she recognize your voice?”

Hubert remained silent, unconsciously tightening his grip on the baby. Ferdinand brought the mage into his arms, embracing his husband and conveying all the love and support he could give.

“She knows you better than you were led to believe. She knows you’re her father and she will love you, regardless of what you’ve done.”

“Ferdinand...I can’t do this. You know I can’t. When we finally named her, I was so sure of myself at the time. Now, it feels as though I’ve made a grave mistake. 

“Hubert, tell me; what are you feeling right now? What is it that your heart is trying to convey to you?” Ferdinand held up a hand when Hubert opened his mouth to retort. “And don’t try and explain yourself. I want it unfiltered.”

“I feel...sick,” Hubert bluntly explained. “Anxious for the future.”

“Because you believe you would not make a good father?”

“I killed my own for the sake of the Empire. Who’s to say I won’t do the same to my own child?”

“You won’t.”

“And how do you know?”

“Because, unlike your father, you love your daughter.”

“You don’t know that for certain.”

Ferdinand smiled. “But I do. I see it in the way your eyes soften whenever you gaze upon her. Even now, I see how tightly you’re cradling her, as if you want to keep her close and protect her from all the evils in this world.”

Hubert said nothing, turning his attention back to the head of black fuzz that was resting just above his heart. He brought a hand up, gently placing it behind Aria’s skull.

“It hurts…how much I want to love her,” was the answer Hubert settled on. “So much so that it frightens me. This is different from when I fell for you. I’m not sure how to process it.”

“Then don’t. Allow yourself to love her unconditionally. I know all these recent changes have been difficult for you and you aren’t the best at expressing your feelings. But please, let yourself to be happy. Welcoming a child into the world is supposed to be a joyous time. A new father should partake in such joy.”

“But what if—”

Ferdinand placed a tender kiss to Hubert’s temple. “We will worry about the future when the time comes. For now, let us take it slow, one step at a time. We will work through this new path together, like we always have. You won’t be alone.”

“Ferdinand? Thank you...for everything.”

“Of course,” Ferdinand smiled. “Forever and always, my love.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can tell I'm gathering up a little more confidence about this origin story idea. Still rather hesitant, but maybe I'll start writing it soon within another fic or two. People seem to like Aria enough (or at least I assume so based on the kudos I get and what few comments I get. Bless you all) and the potential angst might be interesting enough.
> 
> *clenches fist, crying* But I look at other fics and I feel like I can never do these goobers justice! My writing is so bad in comparison!


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